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Shane Cartledge @WritersBlock

Age 34, Male

Curtin Uni

Perth, Australia

Joined on 1/8/07

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Macbre Horror story in progress...

Posted by WritersBlock - May 7th, 2008


Hey, I'm writing up a short story for the writing comp in the general forum. This is where it'll go when it's done. It's kind of in the style of H.P Lovecraft macabre horror, but I think it'll have a bit of a David Zindell style epic sci-fi touch to it too. So if you've heard of and enjoy the works of those authors, or enjoy reading those styles, then I've got my fingers crossed that my story will impress.

I'm at around 15000 characters now, but I'm starting to think that I'll have to rebuild the first chapter of my story because it sucks ass. Mediochre climax, and not enough information, so I'm going to scrap it, and set it up better, like a H.P Lovecraft story would start.

Blurb:
The year is 1941, the war is raging all around me, and I've just recieved a phone call telling me that my parents are ill. So I gathered my posessions and caught the first bus out of Berlin. I'm a professor of practical science at the Berlin academic university (my name is Dr. Friderik Eisenbachs), but they understood my circumstance, and allowed me to visit my parents. When I had arrived at the village, I met with the doctor, and discovered that it wasn't only my parents that were ill, a plague had come over the whole village. The doctor suspected that the British were to blame, "chemical warfare" he said, repulsed by the idea. He assumed that this secret mission had gone wry, and the results of the attack had carried downstream. But something didn't add up. No-one outside of the village had ever heard of such a theory. So I did my own investigations, and what I discovered was far worse; an underground cult was murdering the villagers, as part of their worship of their demon-god, and they were determined to kill us all.

I've probably given away too much in those last two lines... Oh well, I think it's enough to give the reader something to think about while they wait for the actual story (if there are any readers...)


Comments

One upon a time there li-. . .

-ved a man named Dave. He was awesome, and so is this story. The end.

one day there was a guy who had an idea to make a music hall which was supposed to look like a bunch of white orange slices, once the music hall was built, it was discovered that it actually looked more like an opened box of tissues, 71-13 31\11)

I would not exist if it weren't for the invention of the tiisue...

what, were you conceived there or something? (I apologize if I offended you with my description of the Sydney Opera House)

No, I would be dead, drowning in my own mucus. I use a lot of tissues. A LOT.
I actually didn't get that you were talking about the Sydneay opera house... but then again, I've never been to Sydney.

Hey go to my page, you'll love my blog!

LOL

DO FLASH

MEBBE LATR, K?

Anything that starts during the second world war is of interest. :) Sounds great so far, keep it going!

Thanks. =D

Hm.
I thought about making a horror story once.
I still might do it.
You need essentially one thing to make your short story greater.
Add in some esoteric words to better describe the feel of certain times and points, use them sparingly though.
Deen Koontz does that, his books are magnificent.

Go in the dictionary and find some good words to better suit the time you may need it.
Good luck.

P.S. You can never put too much thought when you're making a story.
Now bad concept is a different senario, not that I'm saying you have one, cuz you don't. I like it.

Don't worry, this is just a glossing over paragraph, not even touching on the details I'll actually go into. I think at one point I used the word "sledgehammer" as a verb. Yes, It'll be brimming with horror, and to get into the mood, I've been reading a bit more HP Lovecraft. Last night I read Pickman's model. It was average compared to some of his other stories because the ending was obvious and it wasn't really too horrific.